It's just a matter of few days.. n I've to face so many drastic changes... one after another... Someone once told me that happiness won't used up one... but now i beginning to wonder... i'm wondering if my happiness is going to be used up soon... real soon...

My new yr ended today at 1142am... E time which my grandpa passed away.. i was at e hospital til he breath his last breath.. Tough.. it was really tough.. I din cry.. becos i hv my mum n younger sister with me.. i gotta be strong.. Things after that min was in a buzz.. All i could do was to stand at one corner n wait.. wait for my elders to do all e necessary arrangement.. This is e first time i witness everything.. n it was also e first time i went into e mortuary... E air was dense.. everyone was sad.. there nth i could do except to wait, wait n wait...

Now i'm back home.. been thinking alot e whole noon.. is my happiness ending soon.. hv i used up too much of it.. looking back at my past few blog.. the answer is YES... a very positive YES... I've simply use my hapiines too easily and simply out of control.. So this is wat i am getting now.. My happiness is ending... Yesterday was still a wonderful and happy day... brought my mum to our old family fren house fot new yr gathering.. chit chatted n took pictures.. then even brought my mum to my bb's hse n had dinner there.. we even went to catch a movie.. BB even suggested to bring his parents over to my place today... we had so many plans for e next few days.. so much things to look forward too... but i guess we plan n think too much of the positive things le.. that's y now happiness is running low already... No more CNY 05 celebrations for me, no more visiting, no more valentines celebration for me, no more.. simple no more... Had been looking forward for my 1st ever valentines day with e one i love.. but it seem so near yet so far.. All i can say is that i've been using up my happiness without noticing that it is depleting... I guess i gotta save it all over again... I'm sad... but there's no tears... pple say that one will feel better when u cry it all out.. But i can't... or is it i dun wanna to.. i dunno... i'm stil in a daze.. Really wish that u were here with me... to support me thru this.. but u can't... n i can understand... i'll try to be strong n walk down this rocky path myself...

Ive learnt a few things today.. no matter wat, blood is still thicker than water.. it make me change my views on certain things.. I've learnt to treasure those ard me much more.. cos u nv know wat's going to happen next.. One thing which i will start to do is to try to start talking to my dad.. to some, it may be an everyday affair.. But to me, i sorry and ashame to say that i hvn done it for ages.. But today it hit me so much that i know i must and i will try to start talking to him again.. cos i dun wanna regret it later in life... trust me.... gotta treasure what u hv now.. dun ever regret.. Another thing which i've learnt was that no one can help u.. oni u urself can help u.. this is true.. so very very true...

Last but not least... I still dunno if my happiness is ended soon or had it already ended.. Al i wanna do now is to start collecting and saving my happiness... bits by bits again.. n again...